The Campaign for Really Awful Graphics (CAMRAG) was a feature of early editions of WIE, in issues 15 – 19 to be precise. And given the advances in desktop publishing and graphic design we think that the phenomenon is likely to be one that fades quickly. Even more so with some clubs looking to only produce online versions of their match programme. That’s sacrilege to us, but a matter for another day that we’ll deal with separately.

Anyway, we think there are some real beauties here which we hope you will enjoy. And please keep a look-out for additions. Please email them to us at wie_fanzine@yahoo.co.uk as usual. And join us in our campaign to bring back badly drawn men back to football. Say no to stale, electronically produced pictures. Join us in our campaign.

First up is ‘Slade Green Man’. Though badly drawn, Slade Green Man adorned the cover of the now sadly defunct Slade Green FC programme for many years. In the club’s latter days Slade Green Man mysteriously disappeared to be replaced by a picture of a steam train.

The next masterpiece comes from the Man City v Coventry FA Cup 4^th Round Replay programme from 1996. This takes Man City into the comfort of midtable in the CAMRAG Premier League. Well done.

This glorious graphic is taken from the cover of Corinthian FC’s programme in the 90s. The horror on the keeper’s face is apparent because:

1. He’s playing in the Kent League (now SCEFL);
2. He’s close to actually catching the ball;
3. The ball has suddenly and dramatically turned into Corinthian’s club badge.

Unfortunately the provenance of this beauty has been lost to the sands of time. So, let’s pretend it came from d*rtford. Like so many zombies…

And this one, from Barrow’s match programme in the 90s, says all you need to know about the far north-west of the country.

Closer to home we have “The Big Beach Ball” of Addlestone and Weybridge FC, another sadly defunct club.

This gem is taken from the cover of an old Blackpool Wren Rovers FC programme (don’t ask!). It may as well say “Welcome to our club, and have an elbow in your face for your troubles”. Charming.

This staggering graphic featured on the front cover of Crawley Town’s programme during the 1984/85 season. Booby Charlton’s career had finished around a decade before, but his influence obviously continued in Sussex for a good while.

Next up is a graphic taken from Barnet’s programme from the 1990/91 season. And we thought Sean Bean supported Sheffield United…

This, erm, offering comes from the 1979/80 season. Haringey Borough used this graphic on the front cover of their programme. The club must have been considered a real pillar of the community as they were surely making a statement – it’s alright to eat the wrong things in your youth as severe acne won’t stop you playing football.

At the weekend, through the wonders of Twitter, we were alerted to these two wonderful examples. In the one on the left – which featured on the front cover of Lowestoft Town’s programme in the 1979/80 season – we see the player on the left (with a rather large head) seemingly distracted by the wonderfully coiffured hair and moustache of his opponent. And in the graphic on the right – from the front cover of Loughborough J.O.L.’s programme in 1987/88 – shows a player with interesting hands and, erm, over-developed shoulder muscles managing to keep the ball under close control. Magnificent.

Our Campaign for Really Awful Graphics continues unabated. This time we bring you three more examples, which were found recently while trawling through the depths of eBay (don’t ask). The first, on the left, featured on the cover of Ardley United’s programme in 1998/99. So it could be considered as fairly modern and rather disturbing. We *think* it depicts a player attempting a back flick that would only end in tears at the level Ardley were playing, especially trying it with that odd shaped ball. Unfortunately we don’t have a date for the middle image, which comes from a Wotton Rovers programme. It’s a bit of an odd pose for the competing players and reminds us a little of Torvill and Dean’s Boléro. Or something. And finally, on the right, we have the graphic from Telford United’s programme in 1973/74. Good catch, massive right hand, great moustache. What more could you want? CAMRAG, it just keeps on giving.

On the left, is a graphic from the cover of Parliament Street Methodist’s FC’s undated programme. Nope, we’re none the wiser either. But there’s something gloriously non-league about depicting a centre back seemingly getting an aerial challenge all wrong. The second graphic (right) comes from a bit closer to home as it originates from the cover of Bexley United’s programme in the 1968/69 season. Bexley United were, of course, our predecessors at PVR and we can only speculate that if the quality of football they offered up was depicted accurately by this image then it is little wonder that dwindling crowds led to their ultimate demise. Just what are the two players in the background doing?!

Hot on the heels of the horror from Bexley United’s programme comes an example from an away game the club played. On 8^th April 1967 they made the relatively short journey to the coast to take on Ramsgate Athletic in a Southern League First Division game. Although the game ended 2-2, the main talking point for supporters surely was this image on the front cover of the programme. It’s a more in keeping with actual match action when compared to Bexley’s effort, but only just. Was it a glaring miss or a decent save? We’ll go for the former.

Next we venture through the pipe into Essex for the image taken from the cover of Billericay Town’s programme in the 1985/86. So we’ve gone forward nearly two decades on from Ramsgate’s effort. And have the graphics taken leaps forward in quality that are in line with the burgeoning technological advancements of the time? Clearly not. But this is a typical example of the time in English non-league football, with the quick sketch style reasonably prevalent. This example shows a particularly agricultural studs-up challenge aimed at the opposition player’s achilles. Roll-on to the next frame and the player in the foreground will be crumpled in a heap waiting for the stretcher bearers. That said, the assailant probably mistimed the challenge, got his studs stuck in the turf on impact and knackered his knee ligaments in the over extension caused by his momentum. Or something.